Step into any Cebu cafe and you are sure to meet the following. While your average Cebu coffee shop customer can be placed neatly under the categories below, there are also those who encompass more than one.

Being bloggers who are subject to the “whims” of our internet service providers, Line, Ley, and I can readily admit that we are WiFi-Leechers. I also happen to be a People-Watcher, Bookworm, and on occasion, an Online Seller.

Which one are you?

1. The Student 

The Student

Armed with highlighters and books thick enough to be considered weapons, The Student stations himself in a corner booth and reads like there is no tomorrow. In reality, though, there is a seemingly infinite number of tomorrows for him. And in these tomorrows, he has tests to take.

Drink of choice: Double shot of espresso

2. The Bookworm

The Bookworm goes to the coffee shop to read. Unlike The Student, The Bookworm is reading for pleasure. The cafe is where they can finish a book in peace and in the calming embrace of a fully air-conditioned place.

Drink of choice: Tall Americano

3. The Online Seller

The Online Seller sits at the coffee shop and waits for her customers. Patiently. She has a paper bag (or two) by her feet. She has two mobile phones to better contact her loyal customers. She will not buy a pricey drink because she knows the value of hard-earned money.

Drink of choice: Flavored cold tea

4. The Professional

The Professional is at the cafe for a client meeting. It is the ideal place for a laid-back appointment and for getting to know a potential client better. You can spot The Professional at work during hours of the day when the cafe is not very busy.

Drink of choice: Black coffee

The Artsy Type

5. The Tourist

The cafe is The Tourist’s haven. The city can be unbearably humid no matter the time of the year; The Tourist heads to the coffee shop to give their sweat glands a much-needed rest. The air-conditioned cafe reminds them of home. The Tourist often wears flip flops and sleeveless tanks (printed with “NAME <3 CEBU”). They may or may not be accompanied by very friendly locals.

Drink of choice: Anything arctic cold

6. The Artsy Type

The Artsy Type can be a filmmaker, photographer, model/photographer, illustrator, or writer. They are following in the footsteps of popular names in their fields who found inspirations in coffee shops. Or in the general presence of caffeine. If they could bring a typewriter or the biggest analog camera to the cafe without looking just a tad ridiculous, they would.

Drink of choice: Cappuccino

7. The Proverbial Popular Kid

The cafe is a place to be seen. It is not surprising then that The Proverbial Popular Kid often hangs out in a cafe. They go during the busiest hours. They wear the latest trends. They tend to be just a tad louder than other customers. They take photos for their blogs. They make fascinating subjects for the people under #9.

Drink of choice: Any iced drink with at least 12 ingredients

8. The WiFi-Leecher

The WiFi-Leecher

The WiFi-Leecher doesn’t sport a particular look. They let their gadgets do the talking when it comes to their cafe identity. They’re at the coffee shop to check who has liked their Facebook profile photo, answer an online quiz, email important files to clients, or harvest crops on Farmville. Some may also be waiting for a download to finish.

Drink of choice: Iced coffee or tall Americano

9. The People-Watcher

They are anthropologists without the degree. What they lack in academic credentials, they make up for with their Twitter accounts or blogs. You had better behave accordingly when you visit a cafe because you might just recognize yourself in a tweet or blog post about a “noisy or entitled wannabe who belittled the nice barista.”

Drink of choice: Iced latte

Did we miss anyone? What other cafe identities can you spot when you step inside Starbucks, CBTL, Bo’s, or Coffee Dream?

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Thanks to Uzi Emperado for the illustrations!

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